David Walker is about to go on vacation just as Cort gets back from one. One in which he learned how to use seaweed as a disciplinary tool, and demonstrated just how cybernetic he’s become: When unplugged from the internet, the paranoia swings into full bloom, and this time, the paranoia was justified: An Oregon tradition of 46 years was ended while Cort wasn’t looking, and we all have a hard time facing a future without it. We also have to face a future in which a new Portland Superhero emerges to fight one of the biggest scourges known to man – texting while driving. Cort inadvertently reboots the Faces of Death series, the mysteries of House Party starring Kid n Play are investigated, and David Walker goes to Hawaii.
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Pop Shoppe Soda, y’all-Fizz Candy Shop right off Belmont and 34th. Also, I swear, saw it at some gas station around 100th and Division on Saturday.
Nope, sorry. It was on Powell.
Bobby has to ask what a tortoise is = what the FUCK?! I had to re-listen to that part five or six times. (That brief awkward pause is priceless.)
Voigt-Kampff.
I used to get “scare-woke” out of a lazy dream on the couch when Perry Mason’s opening theme started.
Group travel is the worst. If it’s safe, travel alone, or with one friend who likes to do the same things you like to do, otherwise it’s just.. a lot of discussions that usually go nowhere, some under-the-surface pissed offness and annoyedness. Even something as simple as finding somewhere good to eat can end in hours of wandering and settling on a restaurant that one person HATES and awkwardness because they’re clearly unhappy whilst everybody else is like “fuck it, we’re starving, let’s eat already”.
In a sense, sometimes a change of scene really is all that is needed. I was so happy to take two weekend mini breaks this summer and just go watch some films at my dad’s while he was away. Comfy couch and fridge full of good food, away from everything (work, school, roommates) – so relaxing.
I recall that Ozzy Osbourne did a song about Perry Mason that riffed on the theme song.
It’s about as good as everything else he did in the 90s, so make of that what you will.
Here’s the Ozzy Osbourne song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXeu9_ZUOt0
I couldn’t help but think of who would be cast if they ever tried to reboot the series.
My picks:
Perry Mason — Chris Noth
Paul Drake — Neal McDonough
Della Street — Adrianne Palicki
Hamilton Burger — Brett Cullen
Lt. Tragg — John Goodman
It was great to hear the “from Hawai’i” line from the old C&H commercial, because that will determine age. I was like “OH!” For whatever reason, they removed the first half of the song so that the voice over would talk about the sugar. When it came back, all you heard was the last line.
Also, the C&H song is merely new lyrics placed over “Pupu A `O `Ewa”, or what would become known as “Pearly Shells” in the English speaking world. That will determine age too, for “Pearly Shells” became a song hugely popular when Hawai’i became a state in 1959, and it was heavily used as tourists came to the islands for the first time. It was played at the airport, at shops, restaurants, luaus, etc. The song is called by some “tourist music”, but the cheesiness also captures a time in Hawai’i history that no longer exists, and people long for those old songs.
If you go thrift store shopping and looking for records, you’ll find tons of Reader’s Digest box sets, country records made by artists even the Grand Ole Opry forgot, and those weird religious records from Hawai’i, all of them will most likely have “Pearly Shells”. Basically, those who remember the song fondly are probably 1st generation “Perry Mason” viewers. It’s very much music of my grandfather’s time, and my parents know it because it was passed along to them through their childhood.
Listening to the Kid ‘N Play discussion, I was not aware of the exchange between them and DJ Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince, but I wonder if that connection is why the Kid ‘N Play cartoon aired on NBC.